Let Go to Truly Grow
by Lisa Marie Platske, Leadership Coach

When I worked for the United States Customs Service in Newark, New Jersey, my area director and mentor, Ms. Kathleen M. Haage-Gaynor, shared countless words of wisdom with me.  One of our conversations in particular stands out as the one that revolutionized the way I saw myself and my own pursuit of excellence.  I had enrolled in a leadership development program and part of the curriculum involved a 360 assessment in which I asked my co-workers to rate my level of management skills within 8 core areas for approximately 120 statements.  The phrases they were invited to assess included statements such as “Negotiates persuasively” or “Inspires people to excel” and were placed next to a scale ranging from 1-5.

I could not believe my eyes when I received the results.  My peers, subordinates, and immediate supervisor had evaluated my skills and abilities as “above average”, giving me glowing marks while my mentor (who had given me numerous “special” assignments) marked the boxes reflecting “average” and, occasionally, “needs improvement”.  It took me two weeks to calm myself down enough to discuss the assessment.

When we met, I explained that I was disappointed about the marks she had given me and wanted to better understand why she hadn’t rated me higher.  (Looking back, I can see why she said I “needed improvement” for the statement “Expresses disagreement tactfully and sensitively”— I didn’t know what emotional intelligence was at that point.)  Her answer was simple and powerful: “You’re not perfect, Lisa, and it’s something you should never forget.  Individuals who achieve much are continually learning, growing, and striving to be better than they were yesterday.  Use my comments to give yourself direction and study the skills you need to improve to ensure that you will excel in work and in life.”

I was embarrassed by my pride and in awe of this woman and her sage advice.  To this day, I live the lesson she taught me—remaining open to learn from others, spending time and money on my personal and professional development, and sharing these words of wisdom when an opportunity arises. 

This personal experience was the beginning of my “Let Go to Truly Grow” motto for success.  Moving forward in life requires a continual evaluation of goals and plans and time set apart to honestly assess whether our actions are still moving us toward them.  Ms. Haage’s feedback shed light on an area that is too often forgotten.  Plans for excellence typically start with writing down meaningful goals and then focus on how to implement a plan of action, incorporating details through visualization.  Rarely, however, do leaders spend time evaluating their decisions.

When I founded Upside Thinking, Inc., I was determined to build an organization that would help others find more happiness, success, and meaning in their lives through individual development and understanding the power of possibilities.  “Upside” is not interchangeable with the word “positive”, and upside thinking goes beyond thinking positively—it involves seeing the possibilities in every circumstance and making the best possible choices in business and in life.  In empowering others to do this, I help them understand that excellence is a journey, not a destination.  Most people already know that working more hours doesn’t guarantee happiness, success, and meaning.  What they don’t know is that upside thinking does.

So, when and how does one evaluate a decision? 

First, evaluation is an ongoing process, not something you schedule every Tuesday at 2:30 p.m.  Because every decision we make leads to discovery—discovering more about ourselves and our wants, needs, and desires—evaluation must be treated like breathing and become a part of who we are.  For example, in addition to daily assessments, I take three weeks off every year just to evaluate my goals for my personal development, my marriage, and my company.

Second, evaluation is not a solo venture.  A doctor doesn’t give himself check-ups anymore than a good coach can coach himself.  I encourage you to enlist the help of others.  We all need more than one person to provide us with fresh perspectives and keep us on course.  I can’t tell you how many times I hear the question, “How do I find someone willing to help me?”  The answer is simple.  Just ask.

Remember, it’s all about the upside journey.  Many blessings on your path to amazing and outrageous success!